A hat-trick is a thing of rare beauty; a feat that a tiny minority of professional footballers achieve at any point in their careers. Fewer still will do so away from home, or in a 12 minute period to win a game against one of Europe's most decorated sides, as German Denis managed at San Siro against Inter on Sunday night. Granted, he was aided by an inexplicable refereeing decision that allowed him to set on his way from the penalty spot, but his goals were netted in such a short period that his haul deserves recognition.
Inter's season took a turn for the worse with that result, and Denis' goals were a sucker punch to compound the injuries they have suffered to their own forward line recently. Rarely will three goals turn a game quite so dramatically on its head and the ramifications of those strikes and injuries could be far greater than the mere loss of 3 points. Now down in 6th place in the table without the majority of their attacking players for the rest of the season, Denis has possibly fatally wounded Andrea Stramaccioni's side.
While Tommy Ross holds the record for the fastest recorded hat-trick in footballing history, with 3 goals in just 90 seconds for Ross County back in the 60s, Denis' 12 minute hat-trick is still commendable. However, it was not even the quickest treble in Europe's top 5 leagues this season. At the end of January, Cristiano Ronaldo bagged 3 goals in an incredible 10-minute second half spell at home to Getafe. He too, though, required a penalty to claim the match ball, and his was arguably less impressive - even though it was quicker - than Denis' given the respective circumstances. Madrid were already a goal up, and Ronaldo's goals thus didn't effect the overall outcome of the game, even if they did enhance his side’s goal difference.
Interestingly for Inter, though, the fourth fastest hat-trick and second fastest that did not require a penalty in Europe's top 5 leagues this season (after Amauri's 14 minute hat-trick vs Torino) was scored by Inter’s rumoured summer signing, Mauro Icardi, who took 16 minutes to net three times against Pescara. Icardi has fast become one of Serie A's most sought after youngsters, and at only 20 years old, there is no rush for him to join one of the league's big guns. However, it looks like his 9 goals in 19 starts this term could have won him a move to San Siro.
In the Premier League, meanwhile, Gareth Bale's smash-and-grab 23 minute hat-trick at Aston Villa was the quickest one this season, and that was when his form really started to kick on to a higher level that has seen him, bizarrely, mentioned in the same breath as Messi and Ronaldo. There was another Premier League treble though, that was the most impressive of the lot, scored by Luis Suarez at Carrow Road in September.
While it may have taken him 55 minutes to manage, speed was not the main attribute of this Suarez show. What was so impressive was that it was the only Premier League hat-trick in the last four seasons in which 3 goals were scored from outside the area. In fact, no other player has managed that feat in any of Europe's top 5 leagues in the last 4 seasons. Suarez finds himself at the centre of his fair share of controversy, and many people dislike him, but he is undeniably a fantastic footballer and his many misdemeanours should not prevent the FA from awarding him the deserved title of player of the year.
There have been 37 hat-tricks across Europe's top 5 leagues this season with 31 different players scoring them. Ronaldo is responsible for the most (3), while Suarez, Messi, Falcao and Cavani have all bagged two this term. Robin van Persie needed the most shots (11) to manage his only treble for Manchester United, which came in the dramatic early season win at Southampton, while 4 players have scored hat-tricks whilst maintaining 100% conversion rates. The players to score 3 goals in a game from as many shots this season are Shinji Kagawa (vs Norwich), Saber Khelifa (vs Montpellier), Alberto Paloschi (vs Genoa) and Falcao (vs Deportivo). All of these deserve recognition as outstanding achievements in themselves, but the latter was one of the most impressive feats in recent footballing history, with Atletico's Colombian talisman not only scoring a hat-trick from 3 attempts, but then going on to net twice more from 2 attempts, leaving him with 5 goals from just 5 shots in that game.
Nobody has scored a hat-trick of headed goals, and while the majority of hat-tricks this term have been right-footed, only Messi and Bale have scored left-footed trebles. As for perfect hat-tricks - that is, one right-footed, one left-footed and one headed goal - there have been 4 so far this season. Ronaldo's aforementioned 10-minute hat-trick was perfect, while Jordi Gomez managed the feat for Wigan against Reading, as did Victor Ibarbo for Cagliari against Sampdoria and Edinson Cavani for Napoli against Roma.
Hat-tricks usually accompany what people describe as a perfect performance, though, whether or not the hat-trick itself was in fact 'perfect'. Nevertheless, some trebles are simply better than others, and we continue to long for the perfect hat-trick that also fits the bill as the quickest and most clinical yet.